Medical Clinic Space Available

Wendy and I just returned from our Friday visit to Walmart and Superstore doing what retired folks do, shopping for the specials on Fridays. Well, she shops and I read the magazines on the rack. I love going to Superstore, it’s like going to the library, lots of magazines and books.

I have read several bestsellers over the past year while waiting for her. I’ve saved a ton of money and I am becoming quite well read. I am almost completely through the entire Twilight Saga and all the Harlequin Super Romance novels.

The secret, (shhh, I’m going to tell you a secret) is to book mark your page and place that book at the bottom of the rack, in back of some other books. That assures you that it will be there when you return, ready to pick up where you left off. Magazines are a little more difficult, because they refresh them every month, so I scan the table of contents, and read the stories that interest me.

Doctors Wanted

While we were at the store I noticed that they are advertising for a doctor at the walk in clinic. Apparently they have an opening where a doctor can rent office space in the clinic.

I figured what the heck, I always had an interest in medicine and occasionally think I might like to be a doctor. Usually gynocologist, but that is a specialty, a little more difficult to get started.

General Practitioner

But a GP, general practitioner, pretty good work, interesting, you’d hear all kinds of stories and ailments from patients. Besides, I think I could do that, after all, I’ve been going to the doctor all my life. I must have learned something.

Wendy came along as I was discussing the office space rental agreement with the admin person behind the counter. It’s not a bad deal, although it does involve working some evenings as the duty doc for walk in patients. I’m not crazy about that, I like to have my nights and weekends free.

“What are you doing?”Wendy asked, which, when you think about it was kind of redundant considering I was talking to the office administrator beside a sign saying “Doctors Needed, Medical Clinic Space Available”

I turned to give her the “Go away, I’m-doing-something stare.” but it didn’t work, she shoved the shopping cart into my knees, “C’mon.” she said, “I’m finished shopping.”

I turned back to the office administrator, smiled and said, “I’ll just take the application with me, apparently my wife is in a bit of a hurry.” I took the forms off the counter, stuffed them into my jacket pocket, smiled and left.

As we were walking to the van, Wendy said, “What was that about?”

“They are looking for doctors, I thought I might apply.” I said, “You know I always wanted to be a doctor.”

“But you’re not a doctor.” she said as she opened the hatch on the van and nodded to me to start unloading the cart.

“I’m almost a doctor.” I countered, “I know a lot about general medicine, you know that, why just today we checked our blood pressure and I told you mine was good and yours was low.”

“The machine told us that.” She replied, “You didn’t.”

“Yes, but I interpreted the results” I argued, emphasizing the word, “interpreted”.

“That’s all doctors do, that and monitor your condition, if it’s out of hand they refer you on to the emergency. I could do that.”

“You can’t write prescriptions.” she said, rolling her eyes, adding, “This is getting foolish.”

“I thought of that. I really don’t need to write prescriptions, just notes. I write a note telling my patients what to get at the pharmacy. Most of the stuff a GP encounters can be handled over the counter, like colds…back pain…and hemmoroids. It’s all over the counter stuff. Prescription medication is highly overrated and these days, holistic medicine is a big deal, tell people to eat apples, practice meditation, get exercise. There isn’t much that cannot be cured with flax seed, fish oil and a asprin.”

“You’d be sued in the first day.”my lovely little blonde said, “Sued, we’d lose everything.”

“Hmmpf” I said, twice, “Hmmph, you of little faith. You can’t get sued if you tell people up front. I will wear a t-shirt that says ‘I am not a doctor but I will take a look’ that way no one can say I didn’t tell them. Plus, it will relax my patients who think it’s funny.”

“It’s not funny.” she replied, which annoyed me.

“Look” I said, “It’s no big deal, plus you can be my receptionist, you’ll have a job, extra money, vaction time, maybe even a company car and, doctors pay their receptionists big money.” I continued, “It’s not a big deal to just talk to people, hear what they are saying and if it’s anything I can’t cure over the counter, I will just refer them on to a specialist or one of the real doctors. I can take their blood pressure with the machine in the pharmacy, I’ll pick up a thermometer at the pharmacy and some post-it-notes I can use to write the names of drugs on for the patients. Surely to God I can buy a stethescope off the internet. I will wear that and a white coat when I go to sign the lease. They’re not going to ask for certificates, at least not right away.”

“You’d hire me for your receptionist?” She asked, which told me I had her at least half convinced that this idea had merit.

“Sure will.” I replied, “You’ll be good at it, unless you would prefer to be my nurse.”

“But…” She opened her mouth to speak but stopped as I stopped by the coffee shop counter and grabbed a bunch of wooden stir sticks, “Tongue depressors” I said.

The rest of the walk to the van was quiet except when we were almost run over by a little old lady backing her Cadillac into a spot reserved for expectant mothers, or storks carrying babies, I’m not sure what that sign means.

© 2012, Rob Dares. All rights reserved. The Cottage Chronicles / Rob Dares material is copyrighted, please contact me if you wish to inquire about reposting etc